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Third Campaigner Challenge – Show Not Tell

October 24, 2011 By Cat 21

I know I’m late for the last Challenge of Rachael Harrie’s Platform Building Campaign, but the kids are on holiday so I took a week off. I’m just in time though to enter my final story for this challenge. If you like it, head over to Rachael’s Blog and vote for me. I’m number 116.

Here are the rules:

Write a blog post in 300 words or less, excluding the title. The post can be in any format, whether flash fiction, non-fiction, humorous blog musings, poem, etc. The blog post should show:

  • – that it’s morning,
  • – that a man or a woman (or both) is at the beach
  • – that the MC (main character) is bored
  • – that something stinks behind where he/she is sitting
  • – that something surprising happens.

Just for fun, see if you can involve all five senses AND include these random words: “synbatec,” “wastopaneer,” and “tacise.”   (NB. these words are completely made up and are not intended to have any meaning other than the one you give them).

Here is my entry. I’m not sure if I got the boring bit right, but I got everything else in, and it’s exactly 300 words. Have fun.
my signature

Morning has broken

I kicked the pebbles and watched them fly into the gently breaking waves. In the distance, the sea sparkled but close to the beach, its sheen seemed dull. I should have known she wouldn’t come. Not only didn’t she talk to boys, ever, this part of the beach smelled like rotting garbage, and the water carried brown sludge from Dad’s sewage factory. His slogan still rang in my ears.

‘Synbatec – Cleanliness everyone can afford‘

Hah! I dug my bare feet into the sand, cooling grains mixed with water squeezed through my toes. I loved this feeling but hated the effort of rubbing them clean later. The sun burned my face and helped me suppress my tears. I had wanted her to come more than anything in the world. I needed her to see what Dad really did when he “cleaned” the waste water. She would have known what to do. After all, she and her father featured eminently in the news – he being a famous actor and an environmental activist. They could tactise something that would keep Dad out of jail and end the pollution.

With my eyes still closed, I strained my ears for footsteps, but not even seagulls came to this godforsaken place. I sighed, opened my eyes, and gagged on a foul taste. A hairy hand pressed a wet, sweet smelling cloth to my mouth. My vision blurred, but I recognized the butterfly tattoo on the man’s forearm. Every Wastopaneer Environmentalist wore it. I relaxed and sucked in the sweet odor of the sleeping drug. If they had to kidnap me to stop Dad’s toxic waste, I wouldn’t put up a fight. From the corner of my eyes, I saw her. She smiled at me, and her smile stayed with me when darkness claimed me.

CategoryBookworm's Musings Sample Day

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